Crunch Time and a Chibuku-full Aftermath

Research is insane. I apparently never understood the meaning of the term "crunch time" until now. When it's crunch time for a med school exam, at least you know that the exam will happen, and that whatever work you did or did not put in will be reflected. Not true with research! My crunch time means collecting lab values from 800 charts, cleaning my database, running the statistics, putting this into an abstract, and then driving around Botswana asking co-authors to review it, ALL WITHIN THE NEXT 3 DAYS! And if that doesn't happen, well shoot, we're out of luck and a lot of sleep.

The toughest part for me is that I'm so bogged down in the actual data collection process, that I don't have the kind of time I need to be asking the bigger questions and running the statistics. I am worried a career in research would always feel like a race to the finish line without the necessary time to process everything. However, it's pretty funny to say that after spending my first 4 months complaining about the system being so slow and having nothing to do. Now with data and a deadline, I'm losing my mind and desperate for things to slow down.

Anyway, I really hope I can pull this off this weekend. Wish me luck and send some encouragement as I sit alone swearing at my computer and possibly architecting some new curse words involving STATA code.

Here's what I'll be doing Wednesday night at 2am after my abstract gets submitted.
Chibuku, also known as Shake-Shake, is the traditional brew in Botswana. It's fermented Sorghum, and you know you have a good carton when it's nearly exploding with gas. It has the consistency of milk that's gone bad to the point of having chewy particles, but it tastes more like a mixture of yogurt and vomit. I was told once that it's the perfect snack because it's both food and drink.

This particular night, Matt and Tessa were having a homeless party due to their short-lived homelessness, so rest assured, my look was only an attempt to be loony tunes homelesss lady with a wand and lots of cats.

A Day in the Life...

So basically my life according to this blog is one long sunny vacation full of moms and lions. I feel the need to prove to you otherwise.

Welcome to the Office of Emergency Department Medical Records at Princess Marina Hospital!
If you're thinking, "Oh, that's a nice building behind that giant dumpster," perhaps you're right. It is a nice building. Too bad the medical records are in the dumpster. Let's take a look inside! That was easy. You might expect a lock or code or something, right? Wrong again. When chief nurse Mma Malatsi showed me the trailer, we had such a hard time opening the door with its complicated double lever contraption that had to be twisted at precisely the same angle at the same time, that she decided no one would bother trying to get in, and a lock was therefore unnecessary. That was great news for me, since I was going to be opening that contraption at least twice a day. I cannot tell you how many nurses have cracked up at the sight of me in a dress dripping in sweat as I try to pull both levers with all my might. They are probably thinking the same thing I was the first time: Why is she trying to open that dumpster?

I do have to admit, while each box supposedly containing one month of carbon copied ED admission sheets is mixed with food wrappers and bodily fluids, this 1000 degree trailer is still more organized than my room ever was in high school. I can almost always find what I'm looking for, but unfortunately for the carbon, I'm covered in sweat by the time I do.

Ever since my study was approved a couple months ago, I have spent each day carrying one box at a time across the hospital to this ED office, which has been my second home. However, it's not at all my space. In fact, it is the primary office of about 6 ER attendings, 6 residents, and 1000 nurses wanting to check facebook on the one functional computer in that wing of the hospital. Yeah, I have definitely been kicked off the electronic medical records system by a nurse wanting to chat on facebook.
Another great part about the space is that whenever it's cloudy or past 5pm, the room goes completely dark, and the single overhead light has not worked in a year. At first I used a headlamp, but now I straight up bring in my bedside lamp each day.
Here's the best part. Lunch! This is called a "fat cake." It's a ball of sweet dough deep fried in oil. All it's really missing is powdered sugar. There are hundreds of carts that sell these on the street everyday. Lucky for me, there's one right outside the ED.

Okay, so even though the routine is a little ridiculous, I have to say I am incredibly happy with how things have gone so far. I've collected most of the data we'll ultimately need, and we're already synthesizing it into interesting stories about HIV care in Botswana. My mentor Michelle was just visiting for the week, and it was so much fun troubleshooting and brainstorming with her. She got so into it that she actually spent a good amount of her week looking through raw data with me in the tiny office and getting really excited when she saw that doctors were following her pneumonia protocol. Luckily I had brought the lamp AND the headlamp those days.

Momfari Part 3: Cape Town

Cape Town was...magical. Check out this view from the top of Table Mountain. If you're thinking,"Wow, that's gorgeous. I wish I could run a 56Km ultramarathon along that coastline," there is still time to sign up!!On Day 1, Sarah and I hiked up the mountain gorge, while the moms took the cable car up and toured the top. The hike made me realize how cocky I am sometimes, because it was ROUGH. Each step was a 2 ft rock stair, and it was about 100 degrees in direct sunlight the entire way, so it felt like a 2 hr stairmaster in a sweat lodge. I had told Sarah earlier, "We need to bring LOTS of water, because I always seem to underestimate." Again with the cockiness, because for the second hour of the hike we were rationing. With each killer switchback, we'd pause and assess the desert in our mouths before taking the smallest swig of our remaining consolidated ounce.
It was definitely beautiful, especially at the top with a view of the coastline from above the clouds. There's a saying that each afternoon, the clouds cover table mountain like a tablecloth, and I really can't imagine a better analogy.

My favorite moment of all was when we were scarfing down lunch at the restaurant on top of the mountain, and my mom and I became obsessed with a 1 year old sitting nearby with his parents. My mom asked the young, beautiful mom where she was from, and she said, "Windhoek," and my mom shouted, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE BEER!" (refer to momfar Part 1 for photographic evidence).

After the hike, we boarded a ferry to Robben Island for a tour of the former political prison camp during apartheid. We were exhausted, and they herded us onto crowded buses, where our guide began speaking in riddles and telling some pretty random stories, and referring to my mother as, "My American Lady." About halfway through, we got off the bus to take pictures on the rocky coast, and I learned from Valerie that all the guides are former political prisoners of Robben Island. That definitely shook me, and when our guide started telling stories about giving personal tours to Nelson Mandela and Obama, I definitely listened. Nelson Mandela spent the majority of his 27 years in prison on Robben Island, and the second part of the tour took us by his tiny cell. The men deemed most "politically dangerous" were kept basically in solitary confinement, while the other men were put in tight quarters of about 16 each. We heard stories about how sucking up to the guards and "behaving", meaning not being caught with a 3 month old newspaper among your belongings, meant 3 thirty minute visits from your wife per year rather than 2. Day 2 was market day. We hit the Green Market in the center of the city, and we shopped like animals. What did we buy?--animals. Mermis (corrected spellling for you, mom) bought one wooden carving of every animal she'd seen on safari, and then when she saw one she liked a little better, she bought that one too. She also got a beautiful tablecloth, two dresses, a couple necklaces, and fabric. If you live at all close to Lincoln, Mass, or ever thought about visiting, you should definitely come see our house's new Africa-on-crack theme. I'm pretty excited about it. You did well, mom!

Here, I am definitely the pot calling the kettle black, because I went nuts too. I got my first African dress. It needs some serious tailoring, which will undoubtedly cost more than the dress. My favorite part of that shopping experience was the saleswoman's planted cheering section: a large woman in traditional dress sitting on a bench a few feet away who kept clapping and shouting, "So nice! So African! African lady!" A man in his early twenties also joined in by taking the sash and tying it around my head in a turban. "So African," he chimed. What can I say..they're good at what they do.

Afer the market, we drove along the coastline by Chapman's Peak, a treacherous but gorgeous road, which I will be tackling on foot on April 7!
We drove to the quieter and quaint fishing town of Simonstown, famous for having the worlds largest colony of penguins. We decided to join the colony for the afternoon, and if I'd brought my suit, I definitely would have been in the water with them catching fish with my teeth. The most surprising thing I learned about penguins was the intensity and frequency of their farts...Our last day was WINE DAY! Our tour took us to 5 vineyards throughout Stellenbosch and Paarl, and by the end of vineyard #1, we were thoroughly intoxicated. The guide was smart to give us the wine-making part of the tour before we started drinking. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure Mermis and I would have giggled through the whole thing. Mermis took the liberty of shooting my future engagement photos at the second vineyard, when she targeted the extremely tall English hippie who was standing next to me at the tasting table as "my boyfriend". In between glasses of Pinotage, she snapped a picture of us, and then sheepishly leaned over to Valerie and loudly whispered, "Emily and her boyfriend," before bursting into a frenzy of spittle and giggles. If that wasn't enough, Sarah then joined the giggle fest by loudly whispering something about Mermis's taste in men. Poor man. All he wanted to do was save the whales in Mozambique...and I guess save water by not showering. Instead he got slandered by the drunkards of momfari.

Our guide had announced towards the beginning that there would be a quiz to see who learned the most about wine-making in South Africa. As soon as I heard that, I leaned back to Sarah and Valerie and announced there was no way Mermis would allow herself to lose. I was right! Check out the awards ceremony below. I was technically on her team, but I contributed only about 0.5% of our team's fierce competitiveness. Mermis won a classy sweet wine, and we were all so proud!

Now we come to the end of momfari. It was a huge success. Definitely one of the most memorable and hilarious vacations of my life, and it was so special to experience Mermis's first trip to Africa with her. And no boys!!

For Mermis, one of her highlights was undoubtedly the three parrots at our bed and breakfast: Elvis, Priscilla, and Lisa. I'd like to say I planned that, but sometimes momfaris take on a life of their own. Thanks for coming Mermis! I had so much fun, and I love you soooo much!

MOMFARI - Part 2: Madikwe

On Day 4, we drove 20 minutes over the South African border to Madikwe Game Reserve, where we spent 2 luxurious nights at Buffalo Ridge Lodge. Aside from having to wake up at 5am each day for our first game drive and being served grilled ostrich for dinner, the place was perfect. However, we weren't allowed to walk from our chalets to the main lodge after dark just in case any lions or crazy baboons were lurking.


Sarah and the moms preferred lounging by the pool, but I spent just about all my free time in between the 5 am game drive and 4pm game drive sleeping, because it turns out Mermus snores like a freight train. She also prefers to check her email and surf the net at 3am, particularly after a Steelers game. I can't put all the blame on her though. Apparently, one night when she woke up craving wireless, I was sleeping comfortably with the entire comforter and one leg straight up in the air. Like mother like daughter I suppose, but I maintain that Mermus is the crazy one, and I did NOT regularly leave the house dressed in my running clothes at 2am, but I guess we'll never know.

Anyway, for our 6 game drives, we had a private truck and guide named Franco, who tracked animals like he was half wild himeslf. We would tell him what we wanted to see, and he'd find it. We saw EVERYTHING, including: a leopard, zebras, wildebeasts, white and black rhinos, elephants, impala, ostrich, giraffes, water buffalo, baboons, and we even followed a pride of lions as they stalked their prey, and then watched in the dark as they feasted on a zebra. Their slobbering and growling was terrifying, and I didn't think they appreciated the giant spotlight Franco was shoving in their faces, but luckily we made it out with all our limbs.

More Madikwe Pics

Momfari (FINALLY) - part 1: Gabs

The moms were here!! Mermus and Valerie arrived in Gabs after almost two full days of travel and a soaking wet tour of Paris on no sleep. I guess they bonded in the misery, because by the time they got in our car in Gabs, they were bffs, and Sarah and I were corrected several times that night with, "Oh, it's just an inside joke."

We took it easy in Gabs, driving around Mokolodi Game Reserve one day. Ryan let us borrow his RAV4 to tackle the cavernous, lake-filled dirt roads of the reserve, and as I drove I felt unstoppable (but safe). Matt would occasionally ford a river and then stick his head of of their monster Surf and say, "You gotta floor it." Man on man that was a rush.

In Mokolodi we saw tons of baby warthogs, impala, wildebeasts, and zebras. It was only supposed to whet the moms' appetites for game drives before going to Madikwe, but we definitely had a lucky day. That night we made dinner and got the moms drunk with the whole crew, and all true colors were revealed.

Our last night in Gabs, we went to Mountain Rest in Gabane (pictures below), where Mermus owned the grill, fending off all other grillers from her raw meat, and Valerie showed some great effort fending off new boyfriends. Having to eat with your hands is definitely one of the best parts of Bots...

To Zanzibar by Motorcar!

Merry Christmas and Happy Channukah! For me, it all happened in Zanzibar off the coast of Tanzania. Sarah and I joined fellow Doris Duker Jess (next to me in the above picture) from Uganda and her colleague Beth for 6 days of intense R&R mixed with white sand beaches, ridiculous snorkeling, and craft shopping extravaganzas. Mostly, it was paradise, but Sarah and I found ourselves in a strange land of mosquito nets, suffocating humidity, no air conditioning , and daily power outages. Unfortunately, during an evening power outage, while we were all in town having a decadent dinner, our rental house was robbed, which definitely put a damper in the trip and set us back a few cameras, ipods, and a laptop. But no one was hurt, and a nearby lodge owner graciously made space for us in his rooms for our last couple nights. The following day on our tour de police stations, we learned that not all law enforcement is created equal, and that when canvassing a crime scene late at night, officers prefer to drink peach liquor.

I'm proud to say we rallied like rockstars, and even though we lost some badass underwater videos of me becoming one with a family of blowfish, we still managed to enjoy our last couple days. First we went on the popular "Safari Blue" day trip, or so we thought. When we disembarked on the first island and saw 12 similar ships approaching toting unfamiliar flags and t-shirts saying "Safari Blue", we turned to our guide, who was splitting coconuts and handing out fins under an unmarked tent off to the side of the others, and asked, "If that's Safari Blue, what tour are we on?" The only answer we got was laughter and a coconut.

Even though our snorkeling guide led us in the water wearing only loose-fitting leopard-print boxer briefs and one fin, we still had a fantastic day full of dolphins, colorful fish, island beaches, and lagoons. Beth also insisted we retake our stolen Christmas beach pictures in Santa hats (but as far as we're concerned, they were taken on Christmas). Then our crazy tour guides wanted to do the same while jumping off every cliff and boat they could find. They also asked each nationality on the boat to sing a song from their homeland, and so the four American girls naturally chose, "I Like Big Butts".Our final day was spent in Stone Town, the capital of retail therapy! We bargained like champs for dresses, jewelry, paintings, spices, soaps, and much more. My wardrobe has been revamped!
On the trip back, Sarah and I spent 12 hrs in Dar es Salaam, where Fogarty Scholar (and Dartmouth classmate) Alexandra Coria took us out for some savory Mishkaki. She then showed us her "posher palace" in Dar, which is only missing a giant diamond chandelier. It was great to see her stomping ground and to see her so happy!

Then, I was overwhelmed when my former Tanzanian host family met me at the airport for a few minutes of hugs! I was so excited to see Irene and her almost 3-yr-old daughter Lakisha. The three of us were great friends for a month in Mwanza last year, and I could not stop smiling after Lakisha remembered that I was her "Aunti".

Stay tuned for a recounting of the epic adventures of "Mom-fari!!